Category: Let's talk
I just got settled in my new home and now online. Just came on for a bit to see whats happening. Nothing new except the only bicker I have is I wanted to get all the medical crap taken care of out of the way before looking for a new job and school. And so far no one I've seen takes medicrap. Sorry ment medical. So hopefully when my card comes in the mail sometime soon (I hope) I can go see a doctor. Other then that the weather is great, traffic is a bitch, you get lost most of the time and everything is in one place. Although I miss having the luxery of a 20 minute drive to go into another town to go shopping. But it's ok here. Look forward to coming on here a bit more if I can.
I forgot to mention things hadn't came at the worse time possible. Grandpa was diagnosed with 2 different types of cancers, and free tution wont come in for another year. And I'll be celebrating my 25th (in 3 months) alone as no one wants to travel out west. Then theres being alone period. I'm having difficulties trusting men now then I have had in 2000. I'm not naming names as the source of the problem comes on here once a day. But when a single guy today who was trying to make small talk with me and looking at me and being nice I just kept silent. My brain kept saying "Don't trust the male race only wants to trust you because you want them to be nice to you. TO be nice out of pitty. They don't like you they only want to fake you." I want to trust but I can't bring myself to it. So I've kind of locked myself in my room for the time being. I know these types of phases will go away. Don't get me wrong I have male friends. Dating is another question. Faked once, cheated on once and then played on once. The only way I'll know is if I feel it's right. So I'm going to give it time. I have things more important things to worry about. If I qualify at one of the unis here in Ca I can get my masters degree in 3 years online and go to work at the same time. I miss work, I loved work because I knew I can be trusted and people were nice to me as I was generious to them. If I get out there soon who knows what might happen.